Many people use the word reticent interchangeably with hesitant, but they aren't quite the same. Hesitation is stopping yourself. Reticence is specifically the hesitation to speak.

And it's that hesitation to speak that creates some of the biggest regrets in life.

That's one of the reasons I'm so passionate about helping people develop boldness. Boldness isn't about being loud or fearless. It's about finding your voice in the moments when it matters most. Especially when those moments arrive unexpectedly.

Recently, I was hired to emcee a wedding. I didn't know the bride or groom before the event, but during our planning, they mentioned that they weren't even sure the best man was going to give a toast.

I found him before the reception and encouraged him to speak. I reminded him that this wasn't a performance. He didn't need to be funny or eloquent. He simply needed to speak from the heart and tell a story or two about his best friend.

I also told him something else. I said, "If you're the best man at your best friend's wedding and you don't say anything, you'll regret it for the rest of your life."

He spoke. It was heartfelt, genuine, and exactly what the moment needed. Afterward, I asked the bride if she'd like me to invite other guests to share a few words. She loved the idea.

At first, no one volunteered.

I kept encouraging them. I reminded them that no speeches were required, just a few heartfelt words. Eventually, one older woman stood and shared something beautiful. Then another person spoke. I even turned it into a friendly competition between the tables.

By the end of the evening, ten different people had shared memories, encouragement, and love. Even the maid of honor—whom the bride had assured me would never speak—stood up and talked for nearly five minutes.

One guest later told me, "I wanted to say something, but I was afraid I'd start crying." I smiled and asked, "Do you really think the bride wouldn't have treasured your tears of joy?"

That's the trap so many people fall into. They believe speaking has to be perfect. They imagine they'll say the wrong thing, become emotional, or stumble over their words.

But people don't remember perfection. They remember sincerity.

The most valuable part of that wedding video won't be the cake cutting or the first dance. Years from now, the bride and groom, and someday perhaps their grandchildren, will treasure hearing the voices of the people who loved them.

I see this same hesitation at celebrations of life. So often, I'll encourage someone to speak because I know this is the last opportunity they'll ever have to publicly express what that person meant to them.

Reticence often becomes regret.

And I'll bet there were guests driving home from that wedding saying, "I should have said something."

Whenever a sentence begins with "I should have..." you're often stacking another regret.

And weddings and funerals aren't the only places this happens. Maybe it's speaking up when someone tells an inappropriate joke. Maybe it's telling someone how much you appreciate them.

Maybe it’s presenting an idea in a company meeting. Maybe it's offering feedback that could genuinely help someone grow.

Life presents us with these moments every day. They usually last only a few seconds. You either find your voice…or the opportunity disappears.

Your Boldness Exercise for this week:

The next time you catch yourself hesitating to speak, ask yourself one question:

"Will I regret staying silent more than I'll regret speaking?"

If that opportunity doesn't naturally appear this week, spend ten quiet minutes remembering the times you wished you had spoken up. Mine those regrets.



They're not there to make you feel guilty. The regrets are there to make sure you don't repeat them. Because boldness isn't measured by how often you speak. It's measured by whether or not you speak when it matters most.