It also exemplified something I talk about in my lectures and book, which is not worrying about everyone's opinion of you. One of the greatest liberations you can have in life is when you stop worrying about what everyone is thinking about you. Instead, you think about what you're trying to accomplish and the people that matters to and simply disregard the rest. 

Face it, you are never going to make everyone happy. You are never going to make everyone love you. And you're never going to make everyone understand what you want them to. If you try to please everyone you would need everything you say to be bland and innocuous. If no one ever disagrees with you, you are either hiding in an echo chamber or never really taking a position on anything. When strong enough to take a stance on what you believe, there will always be people who think you're an idiot.

I’m sure there are many people who think I’m an idiot. Some of them probably were in my audiences. All I care about is the people that I can impact, and I don't worry about the rest. I don't worry about their judgments. The reality is people aren't thinking about you that long and hard when they are judging you. They are seeing your through their filters and biases and looking at just a snapshot of who you are. 

I want people who are interested in where I'm going and where I can take them. I don't need it to be everybody. In fact, I hope I have a certain number of detractors. It means I'm pushing my envelope, and it also means I could be wrong. I'm totally accepting of that fact, and I'm willing to learn where I could be mistaken. I believe I can learn something from my critics. I invite it. To me it's just feedback. They may overcharge their opinion with emotion and harshness, but I'll dismiss that part of it and extract what value I may find.

 If you want to live a bold and adventurous life, you can't let other people define how you should behave all the time. If you want to chase your dreams and live your own life rather than what someone else expects of you, then you are going to be criticized, possibly with a certain level of cruelty. There is nothing more liberating than ignoring that and considering it as irrelevant. 

If there's value in it, then maybe listen to it. But don't allow yourself to be hurt by somebody else's opinion. Many people like to feel smart by criticizing someone. It makes them feel important, superior. If that's what they need, let them have it. Make a gift of that to them and let it bounce off you. Because you've got work to do. You've got people that matter and people whose opinions are important. Ignore the rest.

Bold people only have a handful of people whose opinions they value more than their own. When you let somebody else's opinion of you matter than your own opinion of yourself, you've surrendered the power and control over your own life, your own destiny. Why would you want to do that? 

Don't ever let somebody else's criticism or insults knock you off your path, your goals and your love of yourself. Be bold enough to accept you’re not perfect, and focus on getting better, not pleasing the haters. Embrace the joy of being your unique self and bring that to the world!

THIS WEEK’S BOLDNESS EXERCISE: 

Here's your boldness challenge for the week: Sit down with someone whose opinion you value and say, "Please tell me some criticism you have of me that you haven't told me because you didn't want to hurt my feelings."

Then listen to what they tell you. Don't try to explain it away. Just absorb it. You might find it to be the most valuable conversation you have all month.

And of course, don't just be bold, be SUPERBOLD!

Fred